Funny how
the mind works. Sunday was perhaps our last day of Indian Summer, and Linda and
I went down to the Esplanade in Capitola to get a latte from Mr. Toots
Coffeehouse and drink it on one of the benches looking out over Capitola Beach
and the Monterey Bay.
Because
other people had similar ideas, Linda took off to stake out a bench as soon as
her beverage was up, and while mine was still being prepared. I paid for both
the drinks and left, walking down the Esplanade toward the bench area. Because
it was crowded; because I didn’t know where she was; and because I’d forgotten
to get a lid for my cup of coffee, I took it slowly.
That was
probably why I noticed the menu at Zelda’s, one of the restaurants facing the
beach. I didn’t really read it, but it was broken down by meal, and for some
reason, when I saw breakfast, I thought of my friend John.
The Business Power Breakfast
John and I
had met in 1994 in connection with a political campaign his wife and I were
working on, but we really got to know each other in 1996-97 when we were both
working on a contentious land-use project in Santa Cruz. That was when a mutual
respect for each other’s professional abilities evolved into a friendship that
has lasted to this day.
One of the
ways in which that happened was over a series of meals, coffees, and drinks
after work, where we got together to talk about the project and the
conversation branched out to other topics.
Breakfast
at Zelda’s was part of that ongoing experience, but I can’t say for sure how
many times it happened. Not many; two or three at most, and maybe only once.
Nor do I recall anything of great import being spoken or decided. It was merely
one of many instances where we got together — one link in the chain, as it were.
And it may
be that the only reason it stands out is that I don’t recall ever eating
breakfast at Zelda’s alone or with anyone else. Lunch, yes, but the only
breakfast memory is associated with John.
Evolution, Not Drama
One of the
hardest things to do in fiction or drama is to show the development of a
friendship. It’s often done by depicting a dramatic event that brings two
people together and establishes an instant bond of trust. And to be sure, there
are a number of friendships that develop in that fashion.
More often
that not, however, it’s a longer, subtler process. It’s an accumulation of
shared experiences that develop a common bond of trust and affection. For every
friendship made in the Hollywood way, there are dozens that were forged over breakfasts
at Zelda’s and other such gatherings that gave two people a chance to talk and
connect and get to feel comfortable with each other.
True
friendship takes time to develop, and, because of that, can weather the test of
time. And it’s based on a personal connection, forged by extended periods of
time spent together, getting to know each other. There’s no substitute for
face-to-face experience, and it’s safe to say there will never be an app for
that.
